Things looking clear

Gotta keep reminding myself to stop trying to reach "standards" and keep improving what i do.

outlines feel like a crutch to me, since my mind goes into the state saying " ok lets finish this" and if the outline doesnt look good, whole thing seems scrapped. But by outlining, i cant seem to stick to the natural flow of the construction. Like this :

Doesnt get my mindset running since i force myself to make outlines from the construction i do. Seems to kill my motivation to go further with the piece, its an odd feeling, enough wrestling with this to try and achieve some "standard" or style.

Theses:

Theses really push me in a certain way: Maybe its the way theses pencils have "no f*cks given"
Maybe its cause i dont have the feeling i gotta "seal" anything, maybe its the lack of a "Step by step approach".
Who knows but if it gets me going, lets keep it up and see if i can find ways to get the same rush with other mediums. Maybe doing straight on prismacolor pencils and marker blending - Straight up digital painting - straight up 4b drafting etc.

No fear no holfing back, it seems.